{"id":1961,"date":"2018-10-09T17:15:28","date_gmt":"2018-10-09T21:15:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sportingdetectiondogs.ca\/?p=1961"},"modified":"2018-10-09T17:15:28","modified_gmt":"2018-10-09T21:15:28","slug":"excuses-your-handler-uses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/excuses-your-handler-uses\/","title":{"rendered":"Excuses your Handler Uses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><b>Excuses Your Handler Uses. Or \u201cTrying to find an explanation for your loser skills\u201d<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I was representing the Small and Sniffy at a scenting demo in Mississauga this weekend and while I was my usual sensational self, the Human Half was decidedly not. The list of excuses she rolled out was both appalling and pathetic. I\u2019m giving you a sample of them and how to respond.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I worked the overnight shift and I haven\u2019t had any sleep.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Oh please. Cry me a river. While you were lounging around at work, I was stuck on the big bed with my brothers who are morons. My beauty sleep was impacted. But notice *I* managed to shine. <\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">It\u2019s cold and my arthritis is bad.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Really? This old chestnut? Let me call the Wahmbulance. I had to sleep on the pillow with a mutt butt in my face. Imagine MY suffering. Arthritis arschmitis.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I haven\u2019t had enough coffee. I can\u2019t function without caffeine<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Perhaps you need an intervention. A residential treatment facility. Or maybe you should just woman up like I do and get with the program.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\u2019m old. I\u2019m not as fast with my hands or my feet as I used to be.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">OK. Well, I can\u2019t argue with this one. You are, in fact, old. A moldy old fig. The last torn leaf on the tree. The bloom is off your rose. The avocado has gotten too ripe. Fortunately, my youth is eternal and I covered for us both.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Don\u2019t let your human haul out these sad justifications for inadequate handling. I mean, how hard can it be to do this? We do all the work, they are just there to\u2026\u2026I don\u2019t know\u2026.do something. Hang onto the leash so it doesn\u2019t get tangled or something. Personally, I think it\u2019s all to make them feel like they have some relevance in the world, but that\u2019s another whole discussion.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">As always, my struggles are your humour.<br \/>\nSniffer Pug.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Excuses Your Handler Uses. Or \u201cTrying to find an explanation for your loser skills\u201d I was representing the Small and Sniffy at a scenting demo in Mississauga this weekend and while I was my usual sensational self, the Human Half was decidedly not. The list of excuses she rolled out was both appalling and pathetic. &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/excuses-your-handler-uses\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Excuses your Handler Uses&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-scents-of-humour"],"translation":{"provider":"WPGlobus","version":"3.0.0","language":"fr","enabled_languages":["ca","fr"],"languages":{"ca":{"title":true,"content":true,"excerpt":false},"fr":{"title":false,"content":false,"excerpt":false}}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1961"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1963,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961\/revisions\/1963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stage.sdda.ca\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}